


we are creatures of war, things of violence (all i know is loss, but promise me that i wont lose you)

by snickiebear



Series: war torn and ragged (the beginnings of peace and a soft, soft life) [3]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anbu Haruno Sakura, Anbu Hatake Kakashi, BAMF Haruno Sakura, BAMF Hatake Kakashi, Canon-Typical Violence, Domestic Fluff, Established Relationship, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Getting Together, Hatake Kakashi is a Good Teacher, Hate to Love, Healing, Mokuton User Haruno Sakura, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Sakura eats a god, War, kind of, same age au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-13
Updated: 2021-03-13
Packaged: 2021-03-20 08:55:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,031
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30002412
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/snickiebear/pseuds/snickiebear
Summary: He is fifteen and thought thathewas bloodthirsty, but then he sawher.
Relationships: Haruno Sakura & Hatake Kakashi & Uchiha Sasuke & Uzumaki Naruto, Haruno Sakura & Nara Shikaku, Haruno Sakura & Sai, Haruno Sakura/Hatake Kakashi, Hatake Kakashi & Maito Gai | Might Guy, Hatake Kakashi & Nara Shikaku, Hatake Kakashi & Shiranui Genma, Hatake Kakashi & Yamato | Tenzou
Series: war torn and ragged (the beginnings of peace and a soft, soft life) [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2151633
Comments: 36
Kudos: 139





	we are creatures of war, things of violence (all i know is loss, but promise me that i wont lose you)

**Author's Note:**

> hey you!
> 
> welcome back to the third and final official part of this little project of mine. thank you so much to those who bookmarked, left comments, and hit that kudos button. i adore every single one of you and thank you so much for your support. (if you're new, welcome! i highly recommend reading the first two because they are dependent on each other :D)
> 
> i honestly so was so blown away by the response to the first one that the second and now this one just had to come into existence. 
> 
> side note: "killing in the name of" by rage against the machine gives me War Sakura vibes tbh and "going to mars" by judah and the lion matches the overall vibe of the war arc in my opinion
> 
> but anyways! i hope you all enjoy! i'm honestly not too happy about some of the parts to this idk but happy reading!

Fifteen and everything he had ever loved is gone (dead, dying, died.) Nothing but a disgraced legacy and ashes in his wake.

Fifteen and aching with loneliness and despair and anger as he rips through the enemy, lighting at his fingertips and his hell red eye burning bright. 

Fifteen and he is nothing but a monster, a thing to be feared, something made from steel and bloodshed. (peace is no longer an option, no longer obtainable.)

Fifteen and he is too tired, too ancient for his bones. The dead’s dreams and hopes are an unbearable burden on his shoulders, slipping into his subconscious where they seeth and spit at him. 

Fifteen and he is nothing except a ghost. He swore that if anyone dared touch him, their hand would pass right through him (and the thought didn’t scare him as much as it should have.)

. . .

Kakashi woke to the sounds of war, as he had every morning for as long as he can remember. It's mechanical, rolling up his sleeping roll, quickly taking down his tent and moving with his fellow soldiers. 

Kakashi had been fighting in this war so long that it had taken everything from him. Took his father, took Obito, took Rin, took Minato-sensei and Kushina. The one thing it hadn’t taken yet was him. 

And he loathed with it. Seethed and hated and killed and mauled.

He tore the enemy apart with his bare hands because maybe, _maybe_ the death he delivered would finally sink into him. 

Friend-killer Kakashi.

Cold Blooded Kakashi.

The Copy-nin.

He was fifteen and his legend was built around loss and grief and bloodthirst.

Shikaku just looked sad when they made eye contact, as if the older man had failed Kakashi somehow. Genma and Gai try to keep up normalcy but even they are wary around him, eyeing the way his fingers twitch, how the blood dried under his nails. 

Kakashi didn't feel a thing, plain numbness that spread underneath his skin, chilling him to the bone. He didn't mind, it made his job as a soldier easier. Maybe that god will finally strike everyone down and he’ll be able to see his family again.

It came to a halt on a red sky day. It was warmer out, so that must mean its summer. Kakashi had stopped keeping track of the days after Rin died (by his hand. He killed her. He killed his _friend-_ ).

The survivors of their battle platoon were ragged and worn, Genma clutched his arm tightly while Gai tried to defend his bleeding friend. Shikaku was barely standing, his shadows flickering and his throws becoming weaker and weaker. 

This must be where they die. 

Kakashi grounded his teeth as he forced his arm up, tanto shaking in his hand.

There was a blur of pink, the ground splitting in front of them, knocking the four men to the ground as the earth and roots (roots? There hadn’t been trees in a long time… ) erupt. A storm of dirt picked up, obstructing the view of what the fuck was going on.

Then the screaming started.

He is fifteen and thought that _he_ was bloodthirsty, but then he saw _her_. 

The dust settled and the girl, no older than him, stood in the middle of the carnage, her hair dripping with blood. The enemy was _shredded_. Nothing like the clean kills that most shinobi did. No, this girl had left heaps of flesh, guts and gore splattered onto the ground. 

The roots retreated into the ground, slithering like snakes and Kakashi shuddered. 

She turned towards them and Kakashi inhaled sharply. Her green eyes flitted across them all before she pointed to the Konoha headband on her forehead and then she was in front of Genma, glowing green hand pressed to his wound. 

(Rin could do the same, he thought distantly. Before I killed her.)

“Name and rank.” Shikaku barked, shadows writhing at his feet. 

“Haruno Sakura.” The girl answered, moving the Gai. “No rank, Nara-san. Just a dog for the Hokage to run dead.” 

If possible, Shikaku became even more tense which put Kakashi on edge. She came near him and Kakashi raised his tanto in warning. Haruno just eyed him with a raised brow before looking at Shikaku. 

“And where is your group, Haruno?” Shikaku asked, eyes sharp.

“Dead.” Haruno said simply. “I’ve been traveling by myself for weeks now. Coms are down, as you’re probably aware.” 

“Did you kill them?” Kakashi asked, eyes narrowed and voice sharp.

Haruno snorted, “No, Hatake. What purpose would it serve to kill my comrades?”

He fought his flinch. 

“You’ll stay with us.” Shikaku ordered and Haruno simply nodded, as if expecting that. 

Kakashi prickled under her scrutiny and bared his teeth from under his mask. Haruno looked amused before brushing past him, “I’ll take first watch and set the perimeter.” 

He didn’t like her. Something was off, there was so much blankness in her eyes and face, but he could _feel_ the rage that curled under her skin. Glancing at the remains of the men that would have killed them, Kakashi forced himself to turn away as he felt bile rise in his throat. 

Instead, he swiftly pulled down his mask and bit his thumb, summoning Pakkun. The pug was instantly on alert, fur standing on edge before looking at Kakashi. “There’s a girl keeping watch. I want you to spy on her, there's something wrong. I can feel it.” 

He missed the look Shikaku was giving him, full of warning and even more sadness. 

(Oh, what they do to their children. What they force upon them, creating such monsters, forcing them to be such ruthless killers. He just hoped Shikamaru will never have to live the life they do.)

. . .

Haruno is a menace that needs to be put down. 

She’s aggressive and aloof, more snarling animal than human. Doesn’t wait or listen to commands, always comes out of battle the bloodiest and doesn’t bother washing it off. Her hair is pink, he learned, and he wonders if it had always been that color, or if the blood she spilled dyed it that. 

Haruno laughed when she kills, grinning widely and so carefree. 

She is an insatiable _beast_. 

Every kill she made was messy and savage, using her wood release to skewer the enemy, weaponizing medical ninjutsu to disable and then rip them to shreds, she could make seals on anything so explosions became a new norm for their group. 

Where Kakashi is methodical and precise, a trained monster, a hunting hound. 

Haruno is raw and raging, an uncontrollable demon of wrath and destruction, a true monster. 

(He finds it morbidly fascinating the way she moves in battle, using her Motukon to stab through the enemy and hands like claws. She had plunged her hand through a man’s chest and pulled out his still pumping heart.)

(It scared him that the act didn’t disgust him.)

(He hates himself.) 

. . .

Haruno was out on first watch when Shikaku gathered them around the fire. The older man had been more tense since Haruno had joined their group but despite Haruno’s bloodthirstiness she had always guarded their backs well.

“Haruno Sakura was the student of the Sanin.” Gai and Genma balk while Kakashi narrowed his eye. Student of all _three_ Sanin? “Her apprenticeship under all of them ended recently but she had still been on the battlefield. They call her the Jade Demon.” Shikaku glared at the small, smokeless fire. “Do not trust her. She is ruthless and cunning, a loose canon.”

Kakashi frowned but kept his mouth shut. From what Pakkun had said, the girl was friendly enough and apparently gave very good head scratches. He trusted Shikaku though and if he said not to trust Haruno, then he wouldn’t. 

He exchanged a look with Genma and Gai who simply nodded in agreement. 

It was quiet except for the crackle of the fire before a sharp whistle pierced the air. The warning whistle; threat contained. 

The four of them stood stiffly as Haruno appeared, a body slung over her toned shoulder. 

“Didn’t kill this one?” He mocked, ignoring the varying looks of warning his teammates gave him. 

But, Haruno’s mouth quirked up in mirth before she almost gently laid the body out, “No, Hatake. This one is much too valuable to kill, I’m certain we can agree on that.” 

Haruno kneeled down and ripped off the body’s mask and-

Tenzo. 

_Tenzo_.

“How do you know him?” Kakashi hissed, moving before he could comprehend what he was doing-

Only to be slammed face first into the ground, blood and dirt mixing. The weight on him was light and moved quickly away as he forced himself to look up, Haruno’s mouth an unforgiving line. 

“He has the Mokuton. He is also ROOT.” The words are mild and her fingers twitch as Kakashi rose to his feet. 

“How did you know I know him?” Kakashi snarled, realizing that both his eyes were out now, his vision a hazy red. 

Haruno gave him a look, “You collect strays.” 

(He hates himself. But he hates her more.) 

. . .

Tenzo admitted that Danzo had sent him to kill Kakashi and collect his eye, looking blank faced as any ROOT member. 

Before Kakashi could tell him that they were _friends_ and friends _don’t_ kill each other, Haruno slapped the back of Tenzo’s head with an annoyed sigh. “Are you going to try and kill Hatake again?” She just scowled at him and Tenzo wilted under the look, like a chastised puppy. 

“No, Sakura-senpai.” 

Wait, Sakura- _senpai_?

“And you know him how, Haruno?” Shikaku drawled, eyes sharp and calculating. 

Haruno smirked at them all and Genma twitched while Gai tensed slightly. But, she lingered on him, as if gauging his reaction, “I’m going to kill Danzo, once this war is over.” 

Tenzo flinched at the name but stood at Haruno’s side, eyes downcast. 

“Why?” Gai asked, voice hoarse. 

Haruno smiled at him, friendlier than her usual ones directed at Kakashi, “I knew Shisui and Itachi. And I can tell you that Shisui did not ‘disappear’ nor did Itachi go insane. The Uchiha Massacre was planned, obviously.”

Shikaku gave her a considering look, “How do you know?”

Rolling her eyes, Haruno turned her back on them, running a glowing green hand over Tenzo, minor scrapes and bruises knitting back together. “It really isn’t hard to figure out and you already knew it, so I don’t need to confirm my thinking to you.” 

Kakashi clenched his fists, stomach clenching. If that was true… if the Uchiha Massacre was planned then what else could the village have done? Was Obito’s death an accident? Was Rin’s? Was Sensei’s? 

He turned to look at her, but Haruno was already staring at him. The gleam in her eye was bright and calculating. 

It made his stomach churn.

. . .

They were attacked while on the move, Tenzo and Haruno used their wood release to skewer as many as they could but the enemy was moving too fast and there were too many. 

Kakashi fought and tore, the smell of blood and violence driving him mad as his hand screamed with lightning. 

Genma and Raidou (who Pakkun had found half dead three weeks prior) were working together as they always had, flawless and unhesitating teamwork.

Gai was plowing through those who dare try to confront him, Tenzo watching his back and moving like water around him. 

And Shikaku-

Kakashi turned to watch as Shikaku was knocked to the ground, overwhelmed and alone.

Kakashi rushed forward but he was too far, he was too far to reach as one of them lifted their weapon and swung down on Shikaku-

(He was going to lose another friend. It would be his fault. He wasn’t strong enough. Wasn’t fast enough-)

  
(Shikaku was a father, a husband. He had a baby at home with his wife. He had a fucking family-)

A blur of pink and red and, and-

Haruno took the hit. 

She stood in front of Shikaku and took the hit, her blood spraying before she roared and ripped the enemy in half. Then she was moving like a savage beast, tearing and killing until the quiet of the after battle settled.

“Fucking hell Shikaku,” She snarled, voice like gravel as she collapsed to her knees, hands glowing a faint green. “Don’t you have a kid or some shit? _Fuck_.”

Kakashi was there in an instant, chest heaving as he watched Haruno’s chakra close the deep slashes in Shikaku’s chest, who eyed her with furrowed brows. 

Gai came to stand on the other side, mouth tugged downwards, “Sakura-san? You’re bleeding quite a lot.”

Haruno’s hands were shaking as she finished, breath labored before she looked up with unfocused eyes to Gai then slowly down to where she was still bleeding. “Oh. Don’t worry Gai, I’m just. Yep!” 

Then she fell over. 

Kakashi was moving before he knew it, catching her fall and laying her gently onto the ground, tearing off her shirt to see where she was bleeding from. “ _Shit_.”

She had taken Shikaku’s hit and saved his life and now there was a deep, angry gash running from her collarbone the opposite hip bone. It was a miracle her insides weren't on the outside. 

Kakashi swallowed the bile that fought its way up his throat before looking up at everyone panicked. Haruno was the healer and apparently they had all forgotten the importance of that. 

Tenzo stepped forward, “She’ll automatically heal herself when she has chakra, but we need to wrap it and keep it clean.” How intimately Tenzo and Haruno knew each other, Kakashi wasn't sure but he nodded. 

Genma and Raidou made sure that Shikaku was comfortable before heading out to hunt for anything and keep watch. Tenzo started on a fire and set up camp while Gai and Kakashi carefully wrapped Sakura’s abdomen. 

“She took Shikaku’s hit for him,” Kakashi murmured, glancing at Gai whose tongue was sticking out as he tied off the bandage. 

“Did you think that she would let us die if she could?” Gai asked, voice oddly solemn. 

Kakashi blinked at his friend and then frowned down at the too pale girl in front of them. “You trust her?” He asked instead. 

“Yes. You should too, dear Rival.” Gai clapped him on the shoulder before standing. “If she wanted us dead, I am sure we would be already.” 

. . .

“ _Fuck_ my head,” Haruno groaned and Kakashi jumped, staring at her with wide eyes. 

She’d been asleep for almost two weeks now, her wound had closed up on its own but she hadn’t stirred. Tenzo informed them that she was from a civilian family which meant smaller chakra reserves.

“Welcome to the world of the living,” Kakashi greeted dryly, eyeing her as she sat up. Her old shirt had been ruined and so had her bindings. 

It had been a very awkward situation all together but Raidou, arguably the most responsible after Shikaku (and also very gay), had sighed heavily and taken care of it. So, Haruno was dressed in Kakashi’s shirt and new bindings. It was hard to remember that they were still considered kids, only sixteen. 

“How long have I been out?” Her voice sounded terrible and she looked awful too. 

“Two weeks.” Kakashi handed her some water and she sipped from it, narrowing her eyes at him. “What?” he snapped, patience thinning. 

“You’re an asshole and I don’t like you.” She stated, downing the rest of the water.

Kakashi sputtered, glaring viciously at her and snatching the canteen away. “And why the fuck do you think I would care what you think of me?”

Haruno smirked at him, “That hair natural?”

Kakashi had no fucking idea what was going on and, unfortunately, Genma and Tenzo were on watch while everyone else was sleeping. “Yes.” He bit out, grinding his teeth. “I could ask the same about yours.”

She snickered and Kakashi swore he’s never heard her laugh before. “And if I say no? What will you think?”

“Nothing. Because, I don’t give a shit.”

Now she was chuckling and reached out to pat his shoulder, ignoring the way he flinched. “It’s natural. My dad had a darker shade though. Weird ass color too.”

“Why-why are you talking to me?” He muttered, turning to look at the fire. 

“You haven’t figured it out yet?” She asked, settling back down onto the ground. “For a genius you’re a little stupid.” 

“Yeah? Well you’re a fucking bitch.” 

She laughed at him, “Takes one to know one, Hatake.”

. . .

“So,” Genma nudged him with an elbow, jutting his chin to Haruno who was walking ahead of them, Pakkun on her shoulder. “What’s all that about?”

Kakashi grunted, side eyeing him, “What?”

Genma motioned dramatically between Haruno and Kakashi while Kakashi gave him a blank look. Genma scowled at him, elbowing him in the ribs. “You know what I mean. What’s going on between the two of you? There’s less. . . _animosity_ now.”  
  


“Nothing.” Kakashi answered blandly, tracking the way Haruno’s slender fingers scratched Pakkun’s ears. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” 

Genma shrugged, “Fine, fine. Whatever you say, man.” A pause and Kakashi glanced over at Genma. “Just be careful. I mean, I like Sakura. She’s hot and saved our lasses more than I can count. But still.”

Kakashi gave him a curt nod before allowing himself one last glance at Haruno’s back.

(He had forgotten that he was supposed to hate her.)

. . .

(It devolved from there.

Like the quick unraveling of a scarf, like sand and ashes between his fingers.

He had no control and yet he stepped into this willingly.)

(Of course, he hadn’t realized he had until years later.)

. . .

They sought each other out. 

Or, she found him in the midst of battle, ripping the enemy away from him and sparing him a nod before they advanced together. 

There was mutual camaraderie now and Kakashi didn't really know why or understand how it came about. 

Her touches were fleeting and ghostly, as if afraid (like him) to leave her presence on another living being (sentencing them to death). 

Haruno was… friendlier. Or maybe he was just now noticing it. How she would bump shoulders with Gai and would tease Genma. Shikaku and her didn’t speak much but they shared knowing looks between the two of them, as if speaking without talking. Raidou, she was extra chatty with, getting him to rib and roast Genma whenever she could. Tenzo stuck to either her or his side, still blank faced but thawing.

It was… odd. 

And it made him question what had been going on since she joined the battle party. How had he not noticed this? 

They shared a tent now, sleeping in the furthest corners but always within arms reach. Hers had been destroyed during a battle so she had opted to force her way into his. He had hissed and snapped at her and she’d seethed and snarled right back. 

And now, they sat side by side at the fire, knees barely an inch apart. Shikaku settled down in front them, looking more weary and ragged than ever before. 

“There’s been an increase of attacks,” He rumbled, “Meaning that we’re either getting closer to where these bastards are coming from or moving closer to our homebase.”

Haruno hummed and all eyes turned towards her as she stretched her hands above her head. “You think we’ll come into contact with the goddess.” It was a statement, not a question. 

Shikaku nodded sharply and tension laid between everyone. 

Kakashi studied the fire, hands clenching tightly. This war was never ending, he wasn’t even sure what year it was, or the season or day. It felt as if there was so climax to this, as if the god was simply prolonging their suffering to kill them all.

Either Shikaku thought that they could kill a god.

Or, he was willing to lead them to their deaths just to put them all out of their misery. 

He didn’t like either option. 

Gai slung an arm around his shoulders and Kakashi flinched but didn’t remove the arm. “You believe we are strong enough for such an attack?”

Silence met his answer.

So, the second option was more likely. 

Haruno huffed, “There aren’t any promised outcomes. Every calculation that we’ve made has been complete guesswork. Hell, we don’t even know where we are.” She cracked her knuckles and looked at everyone, eyes lingering on Kakashi’s (his skin tingled), “All we need to worry about is staying alive.”

That was the end of the discussion. 

. . .

It was unbearable, how she made bloodlust look beautiful. 

Standing there haloed by the sun, crowned with the legacy of three legends, and bathed in blood. 

Kakashi was weak to her allure, feeble to her command. 

And then she looked at him, as if there was nothing else in the world, and he felt something in him shatter. 

. . .

He kissed her, rough and demanding. 

She hissed and gasped into his mouth, bloodied hands clawed at his back before she threw her head back in a moan, Kakashi pushing into her. 

Sakura growled his name, pulling at his hair and Kakashi snarled hers in return, his grip on her thighs unrelenting.

They came undone together. Panting and grasping at each other, uncaring of the blood that painted the both of them. 

(and that sealed their fates.)

. . .

She was violence and rage barely contained in scar sewn flesh, consuming death as if it was a feast for her pleasure. 

She had never looked so appealing, so delicious as she did when her green, green eyes flared with threat, when her muscles tensed and her lips parted as she roared.

He caught her looking at him too, her sharp eyes training after him as if he was the only thing worth looking at. The way she studied him, lingering stares through the heat of battle made his blood sing and body tremble.

He didn’t know what this was. He wasn’t sure if she did either. But when she kissed him, ruthless and severe, he didn’t really care.

. . .

The first time she had seen him without his mask she hadn’t batted an eye, until he opened his mouth. 

Which is how they end up naked and flushed, Kakashi sharpening Sakura’s teeth the way his dad had shown him. It was slow, meticulous work but she didn’t fidget or stir, simply watched him. 

“Sakura,” He murmured and watched as her eyes snapped to his, brow quirking up in question. “Sakura.” He repeated and watched as a knowing look gleamed in her eye. (But it was… softer. Almost understanding rather than the cold indifference of knowing.)

And when she kissed him, her newly sharpened teeth pricking his lip, it was gentler than anything they’ve ever done before.

. . .

He wouldn’t admit it out loud, but now that he had a warm body next to him, he slept better. 

Oh, nightmares still plagued him, jolting him awake. But Sakura always grabbed his hand, no matter how tired she was, and put it to her chest, making him breath with her. 

She never brought it up, either, when he held her trembling body, tears staining his filthy shirt. 

This, also, he wasn’t sure what to make of. 

. . .

"Do you think," Sakura began soundlessly. "Do you think that we could live a normal life after this? Do you think there will be life after this?" 

Kakashi blinked, turning his head to look at her. "I don't know." 

"I think that I'd like to try and live a... normal shinobi life." She confesses softly. "With normal missions and a safe place to come home to." She searched his face, fingers tight around his wrist. "What do you want?" 

He thought of his too small apartment, of his dogs, of whatever normalcy he could remember before Obito had died (he thinks of Sakura and the way she fits so right in his arms.) "I think... I think I'd like that too." He swallowed harshly. "I'd definitely like a better bed than this and maybe some take out. And... I'd like someone to come home to."

. . .

Nothing truly changed. Except Sakura wore his clothes now and his tent smelled like the both of them. He sharpened both their weapons and she always guarded his back when they were in battle.

Nothing changed.

(Everything did.)

. . .

  
  


“That’s enough.” Gentle hands grab his wrists, pulling his out of the still warm body. 

He watched, detached as the body slumped to the ground. The gentle hands and gravelly voice made him turn away.

“That’s enough, Kakashi.” Sakura whispered, staring up at him with an expression more open than he’s ever seen. 

He hates it. 

He hates her.

Kakashi tore himself away from her, chest heaving as he glared and bared his teeth in warning. 

(He ignored the flash of hurt on her face, ignored the way his heart squeezed because he was the cause of it.)

“You think you can fix me?” He snarled, mask in tatters around his face, blood dripping from his hands. “You think I’m something that a little _love_ can fix? Huh, _Sa-ku-ra_? Is that what you think this is?”

Her eyes flashed with such _violence_ before she was in his face, hands on his wrists, keeping him from running away. She laughed, rough and low and it was not a pretty sound but it made his blood sizzle with anticipation.

“Love,” She spat the word, “is not something I am capable of now. It is not something I can even _fathom_.” She cocked her head to the side and he couldn’t look away. “There is no _fixing_ you. There is no _fixing_ me. We are self made monsters, _the worst kind_.”

“Monsters?” He rasped. He knew the answer.

Sakura knew it too but she bared her teeth in a mockery of a smile. “Monsters of monsters, _Ka-ka-shi._ ”

. . .

They still fucked.

But it was different. Colder.

She rolled away when they were finished and without another glance.

But, she always was there for the nightmares, even if she wouldn’t let him touch her when she woke from hers.

It hurt and he didn’t know why.

(He knew, of course he knew. Kakashi simply didn’t want to admit it to himself. He didn’t want this attachment, he didn’t want to sentence her to death too.)

(So he played the fool.)

(She would not let him.)

. . .

  
  


His chakra was almost gone when he hit the ground _hard_. Kakashi spat blood as he turned to counter the attack, moving too slow because of blood loss and exhaustion. 

He had encountered death many times, but it seemed today was the day it would take him. The three nins moved in for the kill and he forced his eyes open, snarling at them.

(He hoped that Sakura never found his body. He hoped that he would see his friends and family again.)

One of the enemy’s heads was torn off, the next’s throat slit, the third had a hand through their gut. 

Sakura stood there, righteous anger burning in her eyes and her teeth bared in fury, before staggering to his side and moving a glowing hand across his wounds. She grabbed his chin, forcing him to look at her. 

“ _You are mine_.” She hissed, her grip bruising and her eyes seemed to glow. “ _You are mine_. Not Death’s nor Life’s. _Mine_. Just as I am _yours_.” 

He stared at her, chest heaving like a wild animal, hair mangled with flesh and blood, her green eyes vibrant and vicious. Sakura held out her gore slick hand and he took it, letting her pull him up. 

“You’re mine.” He gripped her upper arms, glaring at her with warning and anger. “You know what that costs.”

Sakura hissed at him, “My price is nothing compared to yours, Kakashi.”

. . .

Once, a lifetime ago, her touches had been ghostly, fleeting, too light. A slight brush of her knuckles, the bump of her shoulders, the twitch of her fingers.

Now, her touches were searing, red hot and demanding. He touched her just as fervently, a hand on her shoulder, on her lower back.

It was as if her declaration had burned away any more fears about death, about their survival if they allowed themselves this small bit of paradise. 

Their group noticed, of course they did, but they didn't say a thing. But, Shikaku’s eyes lingered on the way Kakashi’s hand brushed Sakura’s, the way Sakura would lean into his side when they walked.

The group said nothing, as if afraid to break that fragile peace they had all earned. 

. . .

“What are we?” he rasped out, voice shot as he dropped his weapons.

Around them the war raged on, the shouts and sounds of the dying, of the suffering. Their team was somewhere around them, hopefully alive. But all he could see was her, her knotted hair, her dirt rubbed skin, her bright, bright eyes. 

She turned to look at him, grinning at him through bloodied teeth, “ _Untouchable_.”

. . .

He could drown in her. 

As she looked at him, as he looked at her.

He could drown in her.

All her anger, her hatred. All her misery, her fear.

He would do it, if she would let him.

They were each other’s and he knew what to make of that. 

(It would cost them everything.)

. . .

The war roared around them and Kakashi knew it was only a matter of time. 

Seventeen and he had fought in a war his entire life.

Seventeen and he would probably die in this war that had been thrusted on him.

There was a scream from his left, of rage and desperation, and then he was shoved to the side.

Kakashi snapped his head to the side and watched in muted horror as Sakura’s leg was pinned to the ground by one of the god’s bones. 

She screamed and it was the worst sound Kakashi had ever heard. 

He was there in an instant, his voice like gravel. “Sakura.”

“ _Do it_.” She sobbed. Sakura never begged, never sobbed. 

Kakashi took his sword and _sawed_. 

He threw up in the next moment as she raised a shaky hand to close the wound.

Around them, the rest of their allies were dying or dead.

He grabbed Sakura’s hand and squeezed, looking at her, his eyes wild. “Sakura?”

She looked at him and to his surprise squeezed back. “Kakashi.” She answered, his name like a confession, a promise.

Then she turned to the god in the sky and her face transformed into something monstrous, inhuman. 

“You tried to kill Kakashi.” She stated, voice cold and calm. It was delivered like a death sentence. She stood on one leg, using a rock at a crutch as the god laughed and laughed and laughed.

Sakura _blurred_.

. . .

He wouldn’t be able to tell you about that day. There are no words to describe what Sakura did on his behalf, what Sakura had always done; always protect and avenge. 

There are no words to describe how Haruno Sakura killed a god with her bare hands, eyes glowing with victory and insanity as she _squeezed_ and _ripped_ and _shredded._

There are no words to describe how she bent over that god’s broken body, took out its heart and _ate_ it.

Kakashi held her broken hands and wiped the golden blood from her mouth and kissed the crown of her head. “It’s okay.” He whispered, “Thank you, Sakura. Thank you.”

They cried together, at the end of the war, the end of time, the end of the era. They had lost everything. They had nothing.

They had each other and that was all that mattered. 

. . .

There was no fanfare or welcome party when the surviving shinobi trudged their way home. 

They returned to a standing village full of grief and ghosts.

The Hokage thanked them for their service. And that was it.

Kakashi didn’t care that the Hokage didn’t address those who had died. He didn’t care that the village was just as broken as before, that more than half of the ninja population had been wiped out.

Kakashi simply wanted to sleep. 

He was exhausted. So, very tired and all he wanted to do was sleep.

(Kakashi hadn’t had a decent night’s rest in years, since he could remember and the fact that Sakura wasn’t there made it worse.)

He returned to his apartment to find a familiar chakra signature moving around, his ninken laying around the apartment.

Entering from the window he paused to watch Sakura dust his empty shelves, her skin an ashen color, her hair dull. She was in a wheelchair. Kakashi couldn't breathe.

“I got take out, it's on the table.” Her voice was gravelly and hoarse. 

“Why are you here?” He asked carefully, closing the window from behind him and standing ridgid. He hadn’t seen her since the hospital and that had been a month ago. Pakkun lounged in her lap, eyeing him narrowly.

Sakura turned to look at him and he was struck by how… hollow she looked. The dark bags under her eyes, cracked lips. He’s sure that he looked no better. “Where else would I be?”

The question was delivered so softly, not teasingly nor snarkily. A simple question loaded with so many meanings. 

But, truly, where else would she be? Where else would he be? 

Kakashi nodded and silently slipped into the kitchen to take out the steaming food.

She joined him a moment later, wheeling her way to the table, Bull at her side and Shiba tucked into the crook of her arm. Her amputated leg- the one he had cut off- was wrapped. “What did the old bastard have to say?” 

Kakashi pulled down his mask and ate slowly, eyeing the way she chewed at the same rate. It had been years since he had eaten something that wasn’t meagly hunted game, ash, bugs, or sometimes protein bars. “He thanked us for our service.”

Sakura snorted, eyes flashing the way they did in the heat of battle. “I hate that guy.”

“Why?”

She blinked at the question, her mouth flattening into an unforgiving line. Her voice was dangerously soft as she answered, “The list of sins the man has committed or allowed to happen could go on forever.”

“ROOT. The Uchiha Massacre.” Kakashi guessed, taking a sip of his food.

Inclining her head, Sakura scratched behind Bull’s ears. “Those would be the bigger ones,”

“Will you kill him then?” Kakashi mocked, hand tightening around his chopsticks. “Just as you plan to with Danzo?”

Sakura snorted at him, “Maybe. I did eat a god, so I could do whatever I please, right?” 

“Power is a dangerous thing.” Kakashi murmured, sitting up straighter. “Will you abuse it?”

Sakura looked at him, studied him just as he did to her, before the tension melted from her shoulders and she gently placed her chopsticks onto the ground. “No.” She whispered, eyes boring into his. “Not unless you ask me to.” 

. . .

They developed a routine. 

Sakura always got up first, but couldn’t cook for shit, so she would feed the dogs and take them for a walk and have them help with her physical therapy. Her chakra control was perfect so all that she had to work on was learning how to move with the wooden leg that she and Tenzo had designed.

Kakashi would get up sometime afterwards (though he was awake the moment she shifted to get up, their bodies attuned to each other) and make breakfast, set the table, and by the time Sakura and the pack got back, they’d eat together.

Then, they either lounged around, trained together, or went out to do errands (together). 

It was… strange. Having someone so woven into his daily life that he couldn’t imagine it any other way. 

The nightmares got worse before they could get better. The war never truly leaves, it haunted his dreams, plagued his mind. He woke drenched in sweat and shivering, but Sakura was always there, her rough hand clutching his, bringing it to her chest as they breathed together. 

They spent nights wrapped around each other, sometimes their shoulders soaked in tears rather than sweat. Whispered confessions and fears and mistakes between them. The ninken piled up on the bed on nights like those. 

"Is this love?" Sakura murmured, shoulders brushing his as they laid side by side. 

Kakashi looked over at her, searching. "Do you want it to be?" 

He watched as she swallowed harshly, eyes flicking up to his, "I think I do." A pause. “It will either destroy us or remake us. Either way, we will have each other."

“I know how you like to fuck, the way blood brings out your eyes, how sharp you want your kunai.” She listed, fingers tapping against the bone of his wrist. Her voice broke, “I don’t know your favorite color, or food, or anything like that.”

“What do you want to know?” Kakashi rasped, turning on his side to face her. 

Sakura copied the movement, eyes glowing in the dark, “Everything.” 

. . .

Kakashi’s birthday rolled around without his knowing, he honestly forgot about it until he woke up with Sakura kissing his shoulder and running her hands through his hair, smiling sweetly. She had kissed him so filthily, her hands everywhere and when he had finally found the breath ask what this was all for, she just laughed at him, “Happy birthday Kashi,”

Gai, Genma, and Iruka stormed into their apartment not ten minutes later and Kakashi cursed the god that Sakura ate. 

And, to his misfortune, Sakura had an iron grip on the back of his shirt when he attempted to jump out the window.

“Rival!” Gai boomed happily, slinging an arm around Kakashi’s shoulders.

Genma laughed at his luck, setting three gifts onto the table, “Hey, look who’s getting old Hatake.”

Kakashi glared at him, “You’re older than I am.”

Flapping his hand at Kakashi, Genma smirked, “Semantics,”

Iruka and Sakura came from the kitchen, Iruke carrying a large stack of pancakes and Sakura with milk and orange juice. Kakashi eyed the pancakes before looking at Sakura, “Did you make these?”

She laughed at him, slapping his arm (he tried to not wince, even as the three other men sent him looks of pity), “No Kashi, Iruka did. Don’t worry love, Tenzo will be around a bit later. You boys have fun!” She kissed his cheek and with a lazy two fingered salute, she was gone.

Kakashi ignored the way his face burned as he turned to look back at his friends who grinned at him varying from smug to proud to mischievous. “Shut up. Its my birthday,” He groaned, slouching a bit more.

Gai’s laugh echoed off the walls and Kakashi groaned again. 

  
  


Later, after his day had been full of birthday wishes, presents, and just downright exhausting, Sakura finally came home. 

He and the pack had been waiting up but Pakkun had confirmed she was still in the village so he wasn’t too worried. 

“Hey,” He rumbled, arms sliding around her waist, nose in her hair. 

“Hey.” Sakura grinned, fingers tracing his cheekbone. “I’ve got your present,” She held up a vibrant bag with tissue paper sticking out of it. 

Kakashi quirked a brow, “I thought this morning was my present.”

Sakura rolled her eyes, “It was part of your present, also,” She turned to the Pack and winked at them before they unsummoned themselves. Kakashi smirked at her, leaning in to kiss her before Sakura stopped him with a hand, shoving the bag into his hands. “Open first!”

In all reality, he was tired of opening presents but at least he could trust Sakura to have actually gotten something he’d like, instead of a green jumpsuit. Sakura waited impatiently, eyes gleaming as she poked him, “C’mon!”

Sighing, Kakashi dove into the bag, throwing the tissue paper onto the ground before freezing. “Sakura,” He murmured, slowly reaching into the bag to take out the _limited edition_ of _Icha Icha Paradise_. 

“I’m the best,” Sakura grinned widely, fangs reflecting the light. “I know, I know.”

He placed the book down on their dining table gently before turning around and grabbing her face, kissing her senseless. “You’re the best,” He laughed breathlessly and Sakura’s smile was blinding. 

. . .

“Hey,” Sakura called, arm looped around his as she looked around the market. “Look at how… lively it is now.” 

Around them the market was thriving with people and light. Vendors called out prices and sales, children ran around laughing, adults ate and smiled widely.

Kakashi and Sakura stilled in the midst of the happiness and the survival of the war and looked at each other. "Soft lives, it's what we deserve." He murmured and Sakura squeezed his arm in agreement. 

"Hatake-san! Haruno-san!" A woman's voice called and they both turned, coming face to face with Nara Yoshino. 

Shikaku had carried pictures of his precious people during the war, so Kakashi recognized her instantly. "Ah, Nara-san, hello." 

Sakura looked between them curiously before giving Yoshino a nod in greeting. The woman smiled brightly, "Come to dinner tonight." It was an invitation but her tone brokered no argument. 

Kakashi's shoulders slouched some more and Sakura nudged his ribs before tilting her head, "Why?" 

Yoshino's smile softened, "Shikaku talks a lot you two and it's about time that I meet the two war heros that saved his life." 

Kakashi and Sakura blinked at the same time before glancing at each other. Sakura's shoulders loosened and Kakashi took that as confirmation. Yoshino was watching them carefully when they looked back to her. "Six o'clock, Nara compound!" She smiled again before turning around and disappearing into the crowd.

"Wasn't she in ANBU before she had a kid?" Sakura asked as they made their way back towards the stands, arms full of groceries. 

Kakashi glanced down at her, "ANBU captain actually. Probably why she can even put up with Shikaku in the first place."

Sakura snorted, "Their kid's gonna terrifying," 

"Maybe, if he's able to break out of the Nara laziness," 

Her laugh drove away the shadows and bounced off of the buildings and Kakashi felt at home. 

. . .

"We're gonna be late," Sakura called ten till six. Kakashi just gave her a _look_ before flipping the page in his book while Sakura laughed.

She was parading around their apartment in her undergarments, her prosthetic laying next to him while she used her crutch. "We don't have anything other than mission uniforms and sleep wear." 

Kakashi just blinked at her, "Did you think that civvies would just appear in the closet?" 

He dodged a thick boot coming his way and gave her a crinkly eyed smile to match her scowl. "Why does it matter what we wear anyways?" 

Sakura sighed heavily, throwing herself into the bed and Kakashi automatically reached to run his hand through her hair. "I don't know, we haven't eaten with others in a while." 

Kakashi eyed her, "If Shikaku talks about as much as Yoshino says then she won't be expecting much." His hand slid down her stomach and to her ribs as her pealing laughs filled their apartment.

  
  


They were twenty minutes late because Sakura bullied him into forgoing his usual chest plate and just the black turtleneck plus shinobi pants.

And then proceed to fuck eye him and well… he has always had a weak spot for her and her stupidly green eyes. 

Yoshino just smiled and welcomed them in. Kakashi let Sakura go first, pinkies subtly intertwined. Sakura was glancing nervously at the kitchen and Kakashi had to cover up a laugh with a cough.

"Ah, Nara-san-" 

"Just Yoshino please, no need for the honorifics." 

"Then we're just Sakura and Kakashi," Sakura nodded, grip on his finger tightening.

Kakashi grinned at her from under his mask and she gave him a glare that would have made anyone else wither on the spot. "Mah, Yoshino I wouldn't let Sakura-chan touch anything in the kitchen, she's a terrible cook." 

"She really is," Shikaku drawled from the doorway, sharp eyes assessing Kakashi then Sakura and finally where their fingers were joined. Kakashi refused to let an embarrassed flush take over his face. 

Shikaku was a somewhat father figure, an adult that Kakashi had come to trust with all the faith he possessed. And well… he hasn't expected to feel like some love sick kid who was caught by his dad. 

Sakura rolled her eyes, "Look, it was either I learn to cook or learn to kill. So, killing it was. Plus," She shot Kakashi a winning, devious smile. "Kakashi-kun is an amazing cook so I don't even need to worry about it." 

Yoshino snorted, drying her hands on a small towel, “You could always learn if you’d like,”

Shikaku smirked at Sakura and Kakashi stifled a small laugh as Sakura glared at the Nara clan head. “No, dear, I think Sakura enjoys being a brute.”

Sakura squawked and Kakashi grinned from under his mask while Shikaku’s lips twitched. Yoshino looked between all of them, interest written across her face, “Shikaku has told me some of his war stories,” She shot her husband a fond look, “So it's nice to put a face to the legend.”

Sakura blinked a couple times before looking up at him and Kakashi shrugged, turning to shoot the Naras a quizzical look, “Legend?”

“The God Eater and her Wolf.” Shikaku spoke, leading them into the dining room, amusement clear in his tone. “It's been spreading across the Nations since the end of the war. Haven’t you looked at the Bingo books?”

Kakashi helped Sakura sit first, her leg sometimes gave her trouble, before settling himself beside her. “Nope,” He drawled lazily. They haven’t been sent out of the village since the end of the war, not with Sakura’s adjustment to her leg and Kakashi’s still recovering trauma. 

Shikaku simply nodded and raised his hand lazily to catch the Bingo book that Yoshino threw their way, he flipped to a certain page and held it flat for them.

_Haruno Sakura (Jade Demon, Bloodied Blossom, God Eater)_

_Rank: Jonin_

_Age: 17_

_Memorable feats: Apprenticed under the Sanin, over four hundred confirmed kills, killed and ate the Goddess Kaguya._

**_Flee On Sight._ **

_Hatake Kakashi (Copy-nin, Cold Blooded Kakashi, Wolf)_

_Village: Hidden Leaf_

_Rank: Jonin_

_Age: 17_

_Memorable feats: Over three hundred confirmed kills, genius at ninjutsu, son of the White Fang, possesses the Sharingan, ANBU._

**_Flee On Sight._ **

“Those haven’t been updated in about a year,” Shikaku said when he came back with Yoshino, arms fill of plates and silverware while Yoshino carried the food. 

“The _Bloodied Blossom_?” Sakura asked incredulously, nose scrunching up cutely. “That’s just stupid. And I know for a fact I have more kills than that.”

Kakashi just rolled his eye at her, closing the book and putting it at the far end of the table. “At least you have something interesting other than _Wolf_.”

Sakura opened her mouth to jab at him but paused before turning back to the Naras who seemed content to watch on amused, “Where the hell’s your kid at?”  
  


“Akimichi’s house,” Shikaku rumbled, serving himself while Yoshino did the same. “Yoshino wanted you to herself,”

Yoshino clapped her hands together, looking delighted and a sharp smile ran across her face, “I have _many_ questions.”

. . .

The power that flooded the room was suffocating and it took a moment for Kakashi to realize that; One, it was pure, unfiltered chakra and two, it was coming from Sakura.

Sakura, who was thrashing in her sleep, face pinched as if in pain and tears streamed down her face.

This… this had never happened before.

He cradled her face, "Sakura," he called, struggling against the god's power that escaped his Sakura. "Sakura!" 

He shook her violently and she surged awake, fist flying and Kakashi neatly ducked away, chest heaving. The chakra shrank back into her and Sakura stared at him, something akin to fear written on her face. 

"I'm sorry." She choked out, sunkissed skin ashen. "Ka-Kakashi I'm sorry." 

Kakashi was breathing heavily, blinking hazily. "It's okay, Kura. Its-Its okay, you didn't mean to." 

Sakura was sobbing, shoulders shaking as she scrambled to put distance between them, "I almost hurt you! It is not okay!" 

Kakashi looked at her wide eyed as she curled in on her self, gasping for breath. He moved towards her, slowly and his movements open. "Sakura," he whispered and she flinched at her own name. 

Carefully, he gathered her into his arms, pulling her strong frame into his lap and rocked them back and forth. She grasped his shirt tightly, soaking his shirt. "I'm dangerous. You shouldn't be near me. I… I can't control it and I could hurt-"

Kakashi kissed the crown of her head, hands up and down her back and through her hair. "You won't." he murmured back. "We're going to get through this. Together." She pulled away and looked at him and Kakashi kissed her forehead, "You're dangerous, that is true. But so am I and you let me hold you anyways." Kakashi bumped their foreheads together, eyes closing. "Together. Always."

Sakura let out a soft, wet laugh before kissing him. She tasted salty and hopeful as she looped an arm around his neck, "Promise?" 

"There is no where else I would be." 

. . .

Things got better and then the Hokage forced them into ANBU.

They received a letter in the mail instead of an in person meeting and Kakashi had felt indifference while Sakura had seethed silently. 

“We’re like cattle to him,” She snarled lowly, sitting with her back leaning against the couch, Akino curled in her lap. “He sends us a _letter_ to tell us that we’re being dragged back into the dark. Doesn’t even have the balls to face us.” 

Kakashi ran his fingers through her hair and she quieted, eyes slipping shut. He looked at the letter, lips thinning. He would have… preferred to never have to go back to the Black Ops. He had hoped that the war had been enough to pay his due, that the village would let him rest. 

He is nineteen and he has known loss and war and death as intimately as one could.

He glanced down at Sakura, whose face was lax as his nails scraped against her scalp. “Will you ignore it?” 

She peeked an eye open to look at him, brow furrowing. “Will you?” It was not a challenge. He had discovered, with slight horror and overcoming endearment, that Sakura didn’t give a shit about the village but she was here because of him. She, obviously, hated the Hokage and what he had and allowed to be done. 

But the Hokage is just a man. A tired old man; a mortal. 

And despite the lengths that Sakura had gone through, she is the same. A human, a woman. 

But, Sakura and Kakashi had forged themselves to be anything but human (weak, vulnerable) because they grew up in a war that could have ended the world. 

So, Sakura had no sympathy for mortal men while Kakashi had all too much. 

Kakashi was still loyal to the village. Sakura was loyal to Kakashi. 

“No,” He whispered. “I will not ignore an order.” 

Sakura was silent for a long moment before she hummed, “I want to be Captain then.”

His lips quirked up and he caught sight of her smirk, “Co-captains,” 

She turned to look at him, glowing green eyes narrowing slightly before she grinned up at him, full of sharpened teeth and slightly crooked, “I get to top for a month then.” 

“Mah, Sakura-chan,” Kakashi drawled, sliding to the floor beside her and she studied him like a predator (the sexy kind). “You already do that, are you sure that’s all you want?”

Sakura laughed loudly, eyes bright as she leaned in and kissed him slowly and heatedly, hands in his hair. “I’ve been reading some _Icha Icha_ ,” 

“Oh?” He asked, breathless, his hands settling on her hips.

“Oh,” She confirmed, licking her lips. “Violence, chapter twenty-one.”

Kakashi could feel his face heating up and he grinned wickedly, “Chapter twenty-one, Sakura-chan? That’s _dirty_.” 

“We got a deal or what?”

. . .

“You’re late,” Sakura called as he walked into the ANBU locker room. He could hear her smirk from behind her tiger mask.

Tenzo just huffed a laugh, “Are we surprised?”

Kakashi just shook his head, slouching over to her as he tipped up her mask, just to see the cheeky smile on her face. “What took you so long, slow poke?”

“I’m surprised that you two weren’t both late,” Genma muttered around the sebon in his mouth, his bear mask in place. 

Sakura’s smile turned feral as she turned to croon at Genma and rib Tenzo into it too. Kakashi let them have their run before turning to the other member of Team Ro, Yugao. They had served together for a short while. Her lion mask rested on her face but her eyes were bright when they looked at him. “Taichou.”

Kakashi’s lips quirked up, “Yo. How is Hayate?”

“Sick but nothing new.” She answered before jerking her head towards the three behind them that were now squabbling. “This is our team?”

Kakashi nodded, taking a step to her side and turning around to watch Sakura gracefully put both Genma and Tenzo into a headlock while laughing loudly. “Don’t worry,” Kakashi drawled, “This will at least be interesting.” 

Sakura looked at him, her eyes glowing from behind her mask and he heard Yugao’s sharp intake of breath, “You ready to start this shitshow, Kashi?”

Kakashi walked towards her and she released the two boys, wrapping an arm around her shoulders to lead to the Commander’s office.

(Yugao blinked after them and then turned to Cat and Bear, “That’s Haruno Sakura?” Everyone knew who Sakura was, they knew what she did and how she did it. But being in the same space as her, feeling that chaotic and storming chakra and then her _eyes_? 

Bear snorted, “Yep, she’s a viper.”

“Are they always like that?” She asked, watching as Hound turned to look at Tiger, and Tiger slapped his ass, her laugh carrying all the way to them.

“Yes,” Cat nodded, his tone fond. “Always.”)

. . .

A year passed and Kakashi could feel it weighing down on him. 

There is a thrum in the air whenever he and Sakura fight together, always the hardest hitters of the group. The way they move and dance together, it makes Kakashi’s heart squeeze. 

But the blood and the death and the gore suffocated him. 

The nightmares came back in full force despite the measures that he and Sakura had taken.

Sakura seemed to thrive in the shadows but she didn’t laugh as easily and her smiles didn’t reach her eyes. 

They were out of the village more often than not and he was restless, not sleeping properly, antsy and frustrated. He knew Sakura felt the same by the way she let the blood dry under her nails and she paced when she thought everyone was asleep.

They tried to make the most of the time they had between missions. Sakura would discreetly clean the Uchiha compound and always leave fresh flowers and groceries in the fridge while Kakashi would make sure that Naruto could eat as much ramen as he wanted, all of it going onto Kakashi’s tab.

There were rules preventing them from directly helping the two orphans, rules that made Kakashi want to spit and snarl the way that Sakura did. But he was a loyal shinobi and he didn’t question orders. 

It came to a halt on a particular warm afternoon, the summer sun shining through the curtains when Sakura stalked into the apartment.

She looked satisfied in the way a predator did after a satisfying kill. Kakashi was up in an instant, “What did you do?”

Sakura snorted at him, “I spoke with the Hokage- don’t give me that look he’s still alive, gods- and told him that Team Ro is taking an extended leave of absence.” 

He blinked at her, his book tucked away before he gripped her forearms, “What?”

Sakura studied him closely, “Team Ro will no longer be going on missions until further notice. It isn’t _good_ for us. We both know this. And I know Genma wants more time with Raidou, same with Yugao and Hayate.” A pause. “Take a breath, Kakashi. It's okay.”

Kakashi just stared at her before crushing her into a hug, his nose in her hair, inhaling her scent. Sakura had always been the braver of the two of them, always been the risk taker and unafraid of the consequences. Kakashi was calculating and patient but a loyal shinobi to his very core. 

“Thank you,” He murmured and felt her smile as she kissed his chest.

“Anything for you, always.”

. . .

Gai burst into their apartment a week later, shouting a greeting as he flung open their bedroom door.

Kakashi pressed his face into the pillow and groaned while Sakura sat up in his shirt and shouted a greeting right back. Kakashi’s arms tightened around her waist as he peeked an eye to glare at her, “What are you doing?”

Sakura leaned down to kiss his temple, “Going to make sure Gai doesn’t break something in our kitchen.”

By the time Kakashi dragged himself out of bed, not bothering with a shirt, he found Sakura sitting on the countertop next to a new vase of flowers while Gai cooked eggs and laughed at something Sakura must have said. 

“Ah Rival! It is such a Youthful Morning! Blossom here was just telling me of your recent temporary retirement!” Gai flashed him a thumbs up and Sakura snickered from behind a hand. “I bet you I could beat you around the village! And if I don’t I shall do three hundred squats and If i cannot do that I will-”

Kakashi cut him off with a hand over his mouth, ignoring the fondness that washed over him. “I missed you too, Gai.”

Gai beamed at him, “Blossom has been hogging you for far too long, so I have convinced her that you will accompany me!” 

“Oh,” Kakashi drawled, turning slowly to look at Sakura, who was halfway to the window, shit-eating grin on her face. “Did she now?”

“I’m hanging out with Yoshino and Tsume! Have fun boys! Bye!”

He turned to look at Gai who had a considering look on his face before smiling softly, “Come now Rival, Blossom made me promise you would eat breakfast first.” 

Kakashi’s lips twitched but he nodded all the same, sitting in his usual seat before saying, “I bet I could run twenty laps around the village and win.”  
  


Gai’s booming laughter and blinding smile had Kakashi smirking into his orange juice.

. . .

The windows were open, curtains tied away to let the sunlight filter through as a breeze blew into the peaceful apartment. 

Kakashi sat at the kitchen table, drinking tea with _Icha Icha_ in hand, barefoot and forgoing his mask. Sakura sat in front of him, feet on the table as she stretched and painted the nails a mint green, the same shade as her fingernails, her coffee steaming in a mug. 

The dogs were laying around the apartment, dozing off or wrestling with each other, the sounds of life from the market was background noise. It was a normal sunday for them, their rest day. Sakura had taken up spars with Gai every other day and Kakashi could be found napping in a tree or with his nose in a book. Their ANBU missions had been much more spread out now, manageable and not as taxing (Kakashi had an inkling that Sakura had threatened the Hokage once more.)

It was a normal, peaceful day until Sakura spoke:

“Marry me.” 

“Mm?” Kakashi murmured before freezing, dropping his book and then his tea, ignoring the shattered glass as he looked at Sakura, wide eyed and gaping. “Wh- _What_ ” He was sputtering and flushed and Sakura just looked at him cooly as if she hadn’t just dropped a fucking bomb on him. 

“Hatake Kakashi, marry me.” Sakura said, smile widening as she slowly got up and made her way around the table, avoiding the tea and broken glass. She cupped his face, kissing his forehead, both his cheeks, the tip of his nose, and then whispered against his lips, “Marry me, Kashi."

“I know how you like your tea, the way you are in the morning, your favorite color is green and your favorite food is miso with eggplant.” She was laughing through the words, “I know you hate the cold and don’t hate cats as much as you let on. I know that you’re basically a furnace no matter the weather.” She paused, eyes glittering and all he could do was stare, weak to her. “I know you, Kakashi. _I know you_. And you know me.”

“Mah,” He protested weakly between kisses, heart thundering in his chest. “Aren’t you supposed to have a ring?”

Sakura laughed, ruffling his hair, “I can get you one if you’d like, Kashi. But nothing about us has ever been normal.” 

“ _Yes_.” Kakashi breathed, standing up and swiftly picking Sakura up, her legs around his waist. “Of course I’ll marry you.” 

The dogs crowded them yipping and barking as Kakashi and Sakura laughed, tears streaming down their faces. 

He is twenty-one and has been in love with a pink haired girl since he was sixteen and breathing death like oxygen. 

He is twenty-one and he has found love and tenderness and warmness he thought he could never.

He is twenty-one and he is full of joy and happiness and boundless, unending love. 

(This was the life, the paradise, the softness that they had dreamed of, hoped of, whispered about. 

They were monsters, they still are, but monsters deserve happy endings, soft middles, even if the beginnings were blood drenched and torn. 

They were war torn and ragged, the survivors made of grief and bloodlust, but they grew and bloomed. Scars mar their skin, blood drips from their teeth, but their rough hands are gentle, their eyes are bright, their smiles warm. 

Home. Paradise. Together.) 

. . .

“Kakashi-sensei,” Naruto whispered, the horror plain on his face. “You’re _married_?”

Lazily, Kakashi looked down at his gloveless hand where his ring rested, “It would appear so,” 

Naruto squawked, eyes going wide with disbelief. “Who would wanna marry your lazy ass?!”

Sai only blinked, his brows raising the smallest amount to give away his interest. 

Sasuke just huffed, “Is it Gai?”

Kakashi signed them up for a week straight of D-ranks for that. 

These brats were untainted and pure and gods almighty he loved them. He loved Naruto who endured and kept getting back up no matter what. He loved Sasuke with his grumpiness and discipline. He loved Sai, even if he was ROOT, with his small ticks and half smiles. 

He couldn’t wait for Sakura to meet them. She was going to scare the shit out of them and enjoy doing it and gods he couldn’t wait to watch his three boys go batshit. 

He leaned against the tree, well into the shade as the boys squabble about how to paint a fence. Oh, Sakura was going to eat them up. 

. . .

“I’m going to kill Danzo,” Sakura said to him, eyes blazing like they did so many years ago, violence written into the tense muscle of her body. 

Kakashi just looked at her, remembering her promise from the war and leaned in to listen to what she had to say. 

Her smile was a slash of fanged white in the dark and it made his skin tingle. 

. . .

After the bar with the other Jonin, Kakashi stared at the ceiling, eyes narrowed. 

“You’re thinking loudly,” Sakura murmured tiredly, turning to look at him. 

Kakashi hummed and lazily turned his head to look at his wife, “Did you ever want biological kids?”

Whatever sleepiness Sakura had was gone in an instant and she stared at him with wide eyes before shaking her head slowly, “No, I never really thought about having kids at all.” A pause. “Did you?”

Kakashi shook his head, “I just don’t want to fuck this up.”

Strong, calloused fingers gripped his chin, “ _They’re ours_ Kakashi.” She said softly, strongly, swearingly. “Not Life’s nor Death’s, _ours_. And they will remain so.” 

They were an echo of the words she had once snarled at him and Kakashi felt himself relax, listening as Sakura chuckled softly, “Plus, you’re going to do those boys just fine. You’re a good sensei.” 

. . .

Kakashi was pacing, borderline feral when Sakura’s clone burst into view, arms full of genin. 

He surged forward, prying the boys from the clone’s arms before the clone crumbled, running for the hospital. 

All of them would be fine, just chakra exhaustion and mild injuries all around. The news had eased the stress of his headache, but Sasuke was still the worst one off, while Naruto could bounce back easily with the Nine Tails chakra and Sai had gotten the least injuries overall, Sasuke had faced off with the Sanin before Sakura got there.

So, he sat vigil, hand wrapped around Sasuke’s as he waited. He felt her chakra as soon as she stepped near the building and didn’t bother looking up when she came through the window. She zeroed in on Sasuke, going to run her own tests with her chakra before heading to the sink to wash out her mouth.

There was still blood on her teeth. She had always loved a messy kill. 

“It’s done.” Her voice was hoarse. “I spoke with the Hokage.” Sakura sat next to him, placing a hand on his knee. 

“What did you say to him?” Kakashi asked lowly, worry easing into his gut. “Sakura-”

“Naruto? Sai?” Sasuke slurred, weakly pawing in their direction. 

Kakashi’s head snapped towards him and gently took Sasuke’s hand back into his, “Safe. Everyone is safe. You can rest now.”

Sasuke forced his eyes to move to where Sakura was watching him, a heartbreakingly kind expression on her face, “Thank you.” Then his eyes fluttered shut once more.

Sakura let out a heavy breath before squeezing Kakashi’s knee, kissing his temple and then leaning forward to brush hair away from Sasuke’s face. “I’m going to check up on Sai and Naruto, I’ll grab dinner, yeah?”

Later, Shikaku would tell him exactly what went down in that office and that the Hokage had never looked so pale before. Shikaku had just shook his head in grim amusement while Kakashi had sighed. His bravely stupid Sakura. Nothing had changed except she had gotten bolder and gave even less shits about authority now that she had more people to love. 

Though, the same could be said about him now. 

“That sounds like my wife,” He muttered and Shikaku barked out a laugh, clapping him on the shoulder.

“You should have seen Yoshino’s face when I told her,” Shikaku shook his head. “Those two might try to assassinate the Hokage soon enough.”

Kakashi groaned mournfully.

. . .

As it turned out, neither Sakura or Yoshino would get the chance to kill the Hokage. They’re both sent out on two separate ANBU missions when it happens.

Naruto was devastated and even Sasuke was frowning more than usual. Sai seemed to be the only one uncaring of the entire situation, which was expected considering ROOT and that he was still transitioning. 

But Kakashi held his team in his arms, letting Naruto rub his snot and tears on his shoulder, letting Sasuke hang onto his neck and Sai hold his hand. 

They were going to be okay, Kakashi knew that, but if he could he would have taken all their sadness and carried it himself. But, he couldn’t because they were shinobi and it was a part of their life. 

(He desperately wished it wasn’t.)

Sakura came home a month after Naruto and Jiraiya brought home Tsunade to be Hokage. She laughed herself sick for fifteen minutes straight while the boys just looked between her and Kakashi from mild horror, interest, and confusion.

Kakashi just sighed, a hand on their heads, “Mah, don’t mind her boys. She’s a bit insane, yeah?”

The way Naruto’s face scrunched up to defend her, Sasuke’s narrowing of his eyes at the implied insult to Sakura, and Sai’s eerie smile at the words made Kakashi grin. Oh, these boys would do just fine. 

. . .

Sakura’s arms wrapped around his waist, mumbling into his shoulder blade, “I know.” 

He leaned back into her, slouching. The boys were asleep in the living room, the dogs curled around them snoring. “It was bound to happen one way or another.”

Jiraiya would be taking Naruto out of the village to help him understand the Nine Tailed Fox and how to use its chakra plus, it would be good for him to see the world, explore a little. 

But that meant he had to go away, which meant Naruto would be leaving the pack for a little, which meant Kakashi and Sakura wouldn’t be able to keep him safe. The thought had him gripping the spatula tighter.

Then again, he and Sasuke would be leaving the village within the next month to begin the baby Uchiha’s training. He and Sakura had talked about it long and hard when Jiraiya suggested he take Naruto. Kakashi would train Sasuke and Sakura had staked her claim on Sai. 

They owed it to their ghosts and their boys to give them the best fighting chance.

(“We’re God Killers,” Sakura said over dinner, Pakkun napping on her shoulder, Shiba dozing in her lap. “They’re going to be World Wreckers.”

Kakashi sighed heavily, Akino laying at his feet and Guruko nipping his hands for scraps. “Sounds like so much work,” He complained.

Sakura laughed and flung some of her food at him, he caught it easily, smirking at her.)

“He’ll be okay.” Sakura whispered, cheek pressed to his back now. “Shishou wouldn’t let anything happen to him, he knows how important Naruto is to everyone.”

To everyone, not the village. Because Naruto is not a weapon, he is not something honed for violence and destruction. He is a person bursting with love and passion, a person with friends and family. 

Kakashi hummed, shutting the stove off and sliding the eggs onto a large plate before turning around to kiss the top of her head, eyeing the sleeping boys before glancing down at Sakura. “It’s truly a wonder that they haven’t figured it out yet.” 

Sakura laughed softly, “They get that from you,”

Kakashi looked at her in mock hurt, “How you wound me, my love.”

She slapped his chest and reached up to kiss his masked lips, “So dramatic. I’ll see you at the gates later,”

His heart constricted as he watched Naruto and Jiraiya disappear into the trees, fists clenched at his sides. Sakura stood rigid in front of him, shoulders trembling minutely and he had half a mind to hug her but he knew she would shrug him off. 

Sai tugged at his hand and he kneeled down to look at his student questioningly, “Yes Sai?”

“When will you and Sasuke be leaving?” His face was carefully blank, but the way Sai’s fingers twitched gave him away.

How Sai had figured it out, Kakashi had no idea. 

“Sai,” He said slowly, placing his hands on the young boy’s shoulders. “We are not abandoning you. You’re family, pack. Sasuke and I will be leaving the village for a little bit but we will be coming back. Plus,” He jerked his head to where Sakura was. “You’ve still got her.” He ruffled Sai’s hair and the boy swatted at his hands but couldn’t hide the pleased expression on his face.

Kakashi breathed in deeply, standing up and shoving his hands into his pockets as Sakura and Sasuke turned towards them. He took in the sight, almost uncovering his eye so he could forever remember this, the peacefulness that settled among them.

Sakura smiled at him like there was no one else worth looking at and he felt at home.

. . .

He told Sasuke about Itachi.

It was a very long explanation in which Sasuke simply stared at him, silent and still. “He still murdered the entire clan,” Sasuke whispered, looking at Kakashi pleadingly.

Kakashi could only offer a nod and opened his arms for a hug which Sasuke gladly stepped into. “You do not have to forgive him, or see him. It is entirely your choice.” 

Sasuke nodded into his shoulder, body shaking with muffled cries. “Is it okay if I want to see him?”

Kakashi’s smile was small, “Of course, Sasuke. Anything you want is okay, as long as you promise to not murder him.”

That startled a laugh out of his student but Sasuke agreed all the same.

Sakura wasn’t home when Kakashi and Sasuke arrived into the village, but Sai was on guard, his Chunin vest impeccable. (To say Sasuke was jealous was a gross understatement, much to Kakashi amusement.)

He walked an anxiously tense Sasuke to the compound where the lights were on and the place looked more lively than it had before the massacre. He put a hand on Sasuke’s back glancing down at him, “You don’t have to if you don’t want to, Sasuke.”

Sasuke squared his shoulders, “I’m going to.”

Well, that settled that. 

The reunion was tense but definitely not as violent as Kakashi had expected. Sasuke had matured during the training, writing letters to Sai and Naruto while they were separated. Itachi looked both relieved and wary but nodded to Kakashi in greeting.

Deeming that both of them were safe enough (and subtly summoning Pakkun to keep an eye on things), Kakashi ruffled Sasuke’s hair once more and made his way to the apartment. 

He was halfway undressed when Sakura stumbled through the window, soaked in so much blood that all he could see were her glowing green eyes. The smell was atrocious but Sakura looked fine, her hands trembling ever so slightly.

“Yo,” He gave a two fingered salute, eyeing the blood she was dripping. 

“Yo.” She sighed, ripping off the mask and throwing it to the side, “I would kiss you, but, well.” She gestured to herself. 

“Let’s shower.” Kakashi suggests and takes her hand leading her to the bathroom.

Showering with Sakura was one of his favorite things, besides waking up before her. She was soft under his touch, leaning into his hands as he scrubbed the blood from her, washing out her hair. She trusted him, just as he did her when she let him massage the tension from his shoulders and scratch at his scalp. 

He kissed her face, arms looped around her waist as she smiled. “I missed you,” she breathed.

Kakashi smiled again, warm and loving, before kissing her lips, “I missed you too.” 

. . .

He wasn't there when she was stabbed but Sai was and by the time he, Naruto, and Sasuke got there Sakura was barely breathing and Sai's hands were painted in golden blood. Golden blood that pooled around Sakura's body.

Kakashi doesn't remember much of the way back to Suna, just the fact that his Sakura, his _wife_ , was dying in his arms and he could do nothing but fight time to save her life. He couldn't think, couldn't breath, couldn't speak. He snarled at the on duty nurse when she tried to take Sakura from him but relented as Sasuke and Naruto grabbed his arms gently. 

The next few days would be hell on earth, days of worry and stress. Her heart had been pierced and almost split in half and she would have been dead in seconds if it wasn't for Sai's handiwork. They transferred her back to their village four days in. 

She spent two weeks in a coma before waking up slowly, Kakashi and the boys had refused to leave her side, the room crowded with men and dogs.

“Yo?” She mumbled, frowning blearily before Kakashi was crushing him to her chest, trying and failing to keep the tears he’d been holding back. Naruto came next at her back, Sai and Sasuke finding some way to hold her. The ninken just clamored onto the hospital bed, making it creak with all the extra weight. 

“Don’t ever fucking do that again.” Naruto, surprisingly, said roughly.

Sakura smiled at them weakly, touching all of them gently, “It's okay loves, it's okay now.”

And well, if all of Sakura’s boys cried a little, who was going to judge?

. . .

Two war torn and ragged survivors sat, dappled in the sunlight and surrounded by the upcoming generation. Dogs milled around the Hatake Manor as Naruto and Sasuke watched from the kitchen window, at ease and smiling.

Sai lounged in a tree branch, sketching the view of his ever growing family. A dark haired, blue eyed girl blinks prettily at Kakashi as he crinkles his eye at them. A blonde haired black eyes boy pouts slightly as Sakura laughs and ruffles his hair. 

Shikamaru and Temari make their way towards them, swinging a small boy between them. Ino and Hinata are close behind, arms full of cooing babies. 

And as the light of the village gathers around, settling into the grass, Kakashi begins his tale:

“The God Eater and her Wolf.” He says, voice aged like the subtle laugh lines on Sakura’s face. “It begins with a girl who had nothing to lose and everything to gain.” He takes Sakura’s hand and she smiles at him.

He looks at her and he could drown in her, in all her happiness, her love, her wildness.

She looks at him and sees the future, the forever, the always. 

“It ends with family and boundless happiness.”

(The Hatake Manor will forever be crowded with life and made up of cluttered walls full of memories. 

It will be home to anyone and everyone who needs it, because they were war torn and ragged and they hoped for soft, soft lives and for peace. 

They have found it, Sakura and Kakashi, and now they offer it to anyone and everything. 

It is the least they could do.)

**Author's Note:**

> 1) Kakashi gets pegged is confirmed and he has a massive strength kink 
> 
> 2) Kakashi is a GOOD SENSEI in this au. i know i dont show it, simply because i didn't wanna, but he was a very good teacher, hence why those kids turn out so well. 
> 
> 3) i honestly was gonna end it right after the whole "Kaka-sensei, you're married wtf" part, as a nicely wrapped cycle but then i felt like i would be cheating you guys out so we kept going. also, i dont know if i did kakashi justice so im sorry about that :/ idk if i wrote gai right too, like ANSKAC anyone other than Sakura im like *sweats* HAHAHA
> 
> 4) idk if you guys picked up on it but the whole "You tried to kill Kakashi" when Sakura faced the god is a direct parallel to the first installment. Sakura and Kakashi go APESHIT whenever the other is in danger or hurt. 
> 
> 6) This originally, as in the first part, was suppose to be like "why is kakashi always late? bc he's fuckin his hot wife thats why" AND IT GOT OUTTA HAND so here we are 
> 
> 7) surprise! you'll see that there is, in fact, a fourth fic in this now. but, this is more for you than me. please send in requests or prompts (my tumblr is @/snickiebear) for anything you'd like to see in this verse and with any of these characters! i will gladly oblige :))
> 
> 8) imma try and participate in ShikaSaku week AND i finally outlined the entirety of the my Fantasy AU ShikaSaku monster fic, which looks like itll be around 80-90ish thousand, so im hypeeee 
> 
> 9) might come back and edit this a little more but rn im postin it so yay!
> 
> again, thank you so much guys. you all have my heart.
> 
> please leave kudos and comments!!! <3


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